Who Gives A Rat’s Ass

“So I will lose myself and bare my soul
Take this chance cause heaven knows
I’m so far gone, my choice is made
And even if my heart should break

When I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I’ll always say
You’re the best mistake I ever made”

-Joanna Wang, “Best Mistake I’ve Ever Made”

Soapy, Teabag and Sim. Poor Sim was suffering from lack of sleep, eyebags and all.

So we had our own Kangaroo Bar reunion at Cheers on Friday night, sans a couple more people.. Damien and Avin couldn’t make it. I guess we had our nicknames down pat.. Teabag, Cockburn, Soapy/Soapman.. hell, I’m sure we could come out with more as more stories get shared.

Our time in Cheers was a blast, it was a time to let our hair down, to dedicate songs to our friends in Phuket and to our Unit, and hope for another trip like that.. minus the baggage of course. It’s hard when we’re off to a trip with baggage, and worse still to return with some.

According to Hustler/Soapy/Soapman, apparently I had the most fun at Cheers out of that group. Is it? I can hardly remember. I just remembered that the Pinoy live band over there was rocking and we were having fun with them, dancing and shit. Oh hell, perhaps I was the only one dancing, I dunno. But who gives a shit, that’s what having fun is all about.

I was trying to request for U2’s “With of Without You”, but they didn’t have it.. or rather, he could play it but the lady asked me if I’d like to sing it. Nope, no thanks. I think she either came up to me or put the mic up to my mouth and asked me to sing something but I ended up saying something like “Err.. I sing like shit”. I requested for a Filipino song, “Kailanman”, but they don’t play it. Shit.

So, what did they play? From what I recall, there was YMCA.. there was Mustang Sally.. there must have been something from Elvis ’cause I remember I was saying some shit about The King.

At the end of the day, when the Pinoy band was packing up, the lady came up to me and asked “Are you always this fun or is it because of the drinks?” and Shanker helpfully replied “He’s always like that” to which I said “Yeah. And the drinks too” and she asked again, “So you’re always like this, just having fun? You’re not shy at all and you were just enjoying yourself”. I forgot what I replied, but maybe it was “That’s the general idea”, or “No shit”, or “How about that”. I dunno.

Whatever the hell happened and whatever the hell I said, it was an extremely fun night out with the guys, just to trade stories about our beloved Kangaroo Bar and our faraway friends, and to bust each others’ balls with accusations of “Don’t talk cock!” followed by some nut-busting maneuvers. Hustler got a “Don’t talk cock!” from me related to his creativeness in cleaning up himself, and I think I got several “Don’t talk cock!”s from the other guys due to some inconsistencies in my testimonies about our recent black ops mission.

But you know what.. the solid time we had only made me miss Kangaroo Bar even more. What else can I say but “Pom kit teung Kangaroo Bar mak leuy!!“

How did you get so drunk and disappointed?
Ain’t nothing here to pull you through
How did you get so drunk and disappointed?
The worst you’d fear is coming true.. it’s coming true

-Matthew Ryan, “Drunk and Disappointed”

Well it had to happen. Our unit is suffering from withdrawal symptoms and we’re gonna meet up tomorrow for an actual situational debriefing.. we all returned from Phuket at different times and different days, so we didn’t really had an opportunity to open up and continue the story-sharing and camaraderie-building after our mission.

Everyone’s missing Phuket, it seems. Everyone’s missing the crazy moments we had, the great friends we made, and the lovely ladies we knew. Some of us still kept in touch with our friends in Phuket, while others didn’t. And of course, everyone missed the one and only KANGAROO BAR.

But most importantly, we’re meeting up tomorrow to keep in touch between ourselves. As Karu put it, we as good friends bonded on a different level while on our mission. It’s probably because we got to see our friends’ hopes and fears, moments of strength and vulnerability, and overall good and bad luck.

Hustler’s under the impression that I had the most fun in Phuket within our unit. I would like to disagree with this statement relative to the rest of our unit because everyone had fantastic fun, but on a personal level I certainly had plenty of fun and plenty of good memories to bring home.

By now I guess our unit’s gonna be a mainstay at each others’ bachelor parties and future trips abroad. We certainly are a bloody fun bunch that’s more than the sum of our parts. I’m looking forward to seeing them again tomorrow, that’s for sure.

Here’s to The Unit!

Just back from Phuket with our own little operational detachment unit.. We should really get together again and do some other fun stuff like this someday.. Thanks so much Frank, Bram, Philip, Leornado, Hans, At, Hustler, Karu, Avin, Mel, Shanker, Damien, Yip.. and most of all “Sim” Dussani.. what a bloody blast we had.

Kangaroo Bar absolutely rules, and it’ll always have a special place somewhere inside of me. The rest of the joints in Bangla Road can kiss my hairy yellow ass. Kangaroo Bar is the only joint in Patong with any degree of decency and dignity!

I figured that at the end of it, it will be like “Mission’s over, exfil in progress” but it’s not as easy as what can be said.

I hereby dedicate these tunes to my best memories of my time in Kangaroo Bar and beyond, here’s to the 14th of June 2009, our final and best night in my best trip yet with the guys.

Eve6 - Here’s to the Night

So denied, so I lied, are you the now or never kind?
In a day, and a day, love I’m gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?
Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here’s to the nights we felt alive
Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry
Here’s to goodbye
Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line along with place and time
Wanna stay, not to go, I wanna ditch the logical
Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here’s to the nights we felt alive
Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry
Here’s to goodbye
Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can’t I stay an hour or two or more?
Don’t let me let you go..

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here’s to the nights we felt alive
Here’s to the tears you knew you’d cry
Here’s to goodbye
Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon

Dishwalla - Angels or Devils

This is the last time
That I’m ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time - I will fall
Into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I’m always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is the last time
That I’m ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

Still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
And fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I’m always gonna worry about the things that could break us

If I was to give in - give it up, and then
Take a breath - make it deep
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one
That could make us cold
You know that they could make us cold

I’m always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

Goo Goo Dolls - Name

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can’t turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you’d lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away

And now we’re grown up orphans
That never knew their names
We don’t belong to no one
That’s a shame
But if you could hide beside me
Maybe for a while
And I won’t tell no one your name

And I won’t tell ‘em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don’t it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there’s nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won’t tell no one your name
And I won’t tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don’t need the same
It’s lonely where you are come back down
And I won’t tell ‘em your name

Jon Secada - Angel

I, I can’t read the future
But I still want to hold you close
Right now, is all I want from you
So give me the morning
Sharing another day
With you, is all I want to know

And baby I, I’ve tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won’t let me go

I, I didn’t want to tell you
Things I didn’t want to know myself
I was afraid to show
But you gave me a reason
A reason to face the truth
To face the truth, face the truth, face the truth

And baby I, I’ve tried to forget you
But the light of your eyes still shine
You shine like an angel
A spirit that won’t let me go
Won’t let me go
Let go of my heart

Here’s to Kangaroo Bar, to Bangla Road, to Patong, to Phuket. All of them deserve one big HELL YEAH. One door has closed while others may have opened.

“After examining all the evidence and relevant testimonies, I hereby declare this worthy of the Wall of Fame” - Sgt Major Jonas Blane, Alpha Company, SFOD-Delta (303rd Logistical)

“Postcards use short words..
Deserted lovers got what they deserve
Only wished that you had turned to say
It’s alright, I still love you anyway..

Watch that crow as it floats from view
Radio towers and dark hills drift
Photographs are pinned and stretched across
Every promise I broke, every smile you lost…”

-Matthew Ryan, “Drift”

“I used to think that nothing lasts
But I was wrong ’cause some things last
Like the ache of watching you
of letting you sink to sunk

When the past has crawled so high
that you’ve forgotten how you would try
to be the taste on my tongue
long after you had gone

..I’ll leave my words where you can see
should you decide you need me..
Should you decide you need me.”

-Matthew Ryan, “Sunk”